On Monday I began the next round and step of my cancer treatment which is self-injections.
I’m going to be honest. I don’t want to do these injections. I don’t want to hurt myself by giving myself needles. But I need to – and I know that. But I just wish I didn’t have to.
I haven’t been very open with the medical side of my melanoma diagnosis on my blog because it has all been very hard for me to process but I thought I would share a little about my treatment. The chemo I am doing is a year of interferon treatment. I am not a doctor so I’m just sharing here what I have learned (but please speak to a medical professional if you have any questions about this drug): Interferon is a protein that your body naturally produces when you get sick or are fighting off infections, such as when you have the flu, or when you have a cancerous tumour. Interferon works by boosting the immune system against bad cells or cancer cells so that if by chance my cancer comes back, my immune system will be better equipped to attack and fight those cells. Interferon also works by killing the “bad” cells that still exist in my body. The way this works is: treatment through IV for 5 days a week for 4 weeks (mine took 5 weeks because of my appendicitis) and then I receive the drug through self-injections which I do 3 times a week for 48 weeks.
I honestly hate saying “48 weeks” because it seems like so far away. This week begins the next year of my life and I’m not excited. I hate that I have to do this.
Some of you may be thinking: if I hate it so much then why am I doing it? Why don’t I quit? As much as I hate it, quitting is not an option. I have made it this far and to give up now would be silly. The Lord is fighting through me and with Him, I can do this. I know I can, but I still hate it and I still think it sucks and that it’s unfair. I am doing this treatment because my melanoma has a high risk of recurring and although this treatment can’t guarantee that it will never come back and that I will never have another melanoma or other cancer, it makes me feel better that I am taking precautions and am doing a treatment that will help my immune system to fight cancer cells. I never want to have cancer again and I have faith that this treatment will help to make sure I never get it again and I have faith that the Lord will never let this happen to me again.
God heals. Sometimes God heals by a supernatural miracle and sometimes He heals by using doctors and medicine. I have faith in His work and His mercy and grace and I have faith in the power He puts in my doctors and medication.
Chemo sucks. But cancer sucks more.
I’m having a hard time and am struggling with processing and adjusting to my life with cancer and my life post-cancer and my life that now consists of cancer treatment and I can’t explain how much it sucks.
Thank you for reading and following this journey.
P.S. Happy Canada Day. I sure feel blessed and privileged to live in a beautiful and amazing country where I feel safe and am granted rights. I hope you do too. Feeling especially blessed and thankful this year for our incredible health care system. Happy 148th birthday Canada!