Beginning again after brokenness.
We’ve all been there. Brokenness doesn’t have to be the end – it can actually be the beginning. Maybe you’re in a season where you’ve come to the end of yourself. Great. That’s exactly where God wants you.
When you’re broken, you feel empty, and it’s important to come before the Lord empty. It’s actually good when you feel empty because when you know your need, you remember your source, and you know He’s the only one who can satisfy.
We’re beginning again most days.
I know how hard it can be to begin again, over and over again.
There were moments during my cancer treatment when I literally didn’t think I could make it through the night, or the day, both physically and emotionally. Thinking of making it through 164 days of chemo being injected into my body and the other 215 days writhing in pain and exhaustion felt impossible. In the thick of it, I wanted to give up – but each day, I began again, even if it just looked like putting one foot in front of the other. Even in this current season, there have been moments when I never thought I’d see the light again, but my strength has began again – over and over again.
It takes deep compassion and grace for yourself to begin again. Maybe you’re like me and not especially great in that area. Here’s the good thing: you don’t have to do it alone. You’re not building alone. You’re not beginning again alone.
God is already holding on tight to you.
This past weekend, I went to Taylor Swift’s Reputation Tour, in Toronto. I’ve loved Taylor for over a decade and have seen her perform four times now. What some may see as a fun girls night out (and for me, it definitely was that, too) was actually special for me in the sense that I’ve really identified with her latest album, Reputation, and to see her be so committed to healing her broken heart and beginning again (and again and again) has been encouraging in my current season.
So, in the words of Taylor:
“When she lay there on the ground,
She dreamed of time machines and revenge,
and a love that was really something,
not just the idea of something.
When she finally rose, she rose slowly
Avoiding old haunts and sidestepping shiny pennies
Wary of phone calls and promises, charmers, dandies and get-love quick schemes.
When she stood, she stood with a desolate knowingness
Waded out into the dark, wild ocean up to her neck
Bathed in her brokenness
Said a prayer of gratitude for each chink in the armor she never knew she needed.”
To listen to Taylor’s full poem from the Reputation Tour, Why She Disappeared, click here.
Sometimes what we, in our limited human perception, see as an ending is likely a beginning. I’m in a season of beginning again. If you are too, I pray your heart remains breakable as you begin again. For the only way for something to grow is for it to be broken.
Peace to you,