No one likes waiting. Whether you’re waiting for an appointment, for a friend, for someone to respond to your email. Whether you’re waiting for a relationship, waiting for a spouse, waiting for a job, or waiting for results. Waiting is no fun.
At the beginning of my journey with cancer, and in my post-treatment follow-up care, people would always tell me after rounds of testing that the waiting for results would get easier. That as time went on, the waiting wouldn’t be as hard, and it wouldn’t consume me as much as it used to.
But it hasn’t. The waiting is still excruciating.
I’ve realized it’s about waiting well.
The waiting times in my life haven’t become any easier, it’s just that now I have better, and healthier ways of dealing with the moments of waiting when they come.
Three weeks ago, my dermatologist took a biopsy off of my arm, approximately two inches from my primary melanoma tumour. Waiting three weeks for the results to find out if it was a recurrence of melanoma was really hard. To be honest, I don’t anticipate the waiting for medical results becoming easier for me. I’ll always catastrophize. I know these things about myself and knowing them means that I know how to manage them. The trauma will always be there – and sure, I’ll carry it differently – but it’s still there. That’s why it’s crucial to wait well when we’re in the waiting seasons of our lives.
For me, I know that what’s coming is going to come, and I’ll meet it when it does. The most amazing thing is that God always has what we’re worried about worked out and His plan is always the best. Sure, we can worry about it, but He already has it worked out. So, this past week, I walked into that doctor’s office and I prophesied that no matter what the results were I would be okay.
I’m continually learning the art of surrender, and wow, is it ever sweet.
By the grace of God, despite some nasty characteristics, there’s no recurrence.
Thank You, Lord.
How do you wait well? Let me know in the comments, below.
Peace to you,